You might remember that, upon his resignation as Patriots head coach in 1997, Bill Parcells let loose the kind of quotable quote that makes beat reporters giddy. "If they want you to cook the dinner," he said, describing his lack of influence over personnel decisions in Foxboro, "at least they ought to let you shop for some of the groceries."
It was a metaphor as memorable as it was apt.
In team sports, ingredients, and combinations of ingredients, matter. If you want a great meal, you can't sprint through your grocery store Supermarket Sweep-style, frantically dumping whatever catches your eye into your cart. And if you want a great team, you can't just throw a bunch of interesting players together without thoughtful consideration. Cooking is about quality and chemistry; so are team sports.
I'm sure you understand these things, Danny, just as we Celtic fans understand (however begrudgingly) that Doc's departure to the Clips will likely lead to a definitive end to the Pierce-KG era. With the 2013 Draft set to kick off tomorrow night at 7 p.m. in Brooklyn, we also understand that you're surely exploring any and all available ingredients that could eventually form the recipe for banner no. 18.
But please, Danny, think twice before you saddle your next "chef" with Josh Smith.
It would be hard, of course, to miss the appeal of J-Smoove. He's a strong, versatile defender and a frequently-demoralizing shot blocker; he possesses all the raw physical gifts you could hope for in an athlete; he's a former slam dunk champ who can be downright breathtaking in the open court; he's made no secret of his fondness for the Celtics and their fans; and his longstanding friendship with Rondo has been well-documented, to boot. Which brings us to the crux of the issue.
If you bring Josh Smith to Boston, as re-occurring rumors insist you'd like to, we're not rebuilding – not totally, as Kev advocated we do in an article earlier this week – we're reloading. We're not setting ourselves up for a high pick in next year's much-hyped draft; we're going to war with Rondo and his high school running-mate. And, presumably, Jeff Green. For the immediate future, that would be our new core. Our new Top Three (please don't call them Big).
And that's a messy proposition.
Cooking and team sports, remember, are about quality and chemistry. While the quality of a Rondo-Jeff-Smoove trio would be more than respectable, the chemistry would be tricky... at best.
Yes, Josh and Jeff would be top-flight finishers on either wing of Rondo's fast breaks. But any Hawks fan will tell you that Josh Smith's no. 1 weakness is a quick trigger on bad shots. C's fans, meanwhile, know that Jeff's late-season progress this year was born of a long, deliberate effort to break from his deferential tendencies. In this way, they're a strange and risky match who could naturally bring out the worst in each other; any coach would have to work overtime to make sure they didn't. Add to that the fact that Rondo, their point guard and would-be de facto leader, fully admits to constantly challenging his coaches' authority – and you're cooking up a highly-combustible meal.
If the Bill Parcells Theory says that coaches should have a say in what players they work with, a reverse corollary might be that GMs who assemble such combustible groups should have to take the bench and coach them themselves.
You're already on record, Danny, that your coaching days ended years ago in Phoenix. But unless you're prepared to abandon that stance, get in the kitchen, make like Julia Child and re-assume the role of The Mormon Chef...
I hope all is well. Best of luck in disassembling what's left of our championship-winning core – I know you were born for this.
Your friend always,
Dave Tramontozzi
Four Guys
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